Here's to hates and a wish

I hate it that I have to depend on someone to go to work.

I hate it that public transport is not a feasible alternative to go to work.

I hate it that Baba had to leave home at 6.55 am, and arrived at 7.25 am, when he could have left a bit later and arrive before 8.00 am.

I hate it that Baba waited for me outside the house compound, with the engine on.

I hate it that I had to rush outside to the car, without wearing my tudung properly.

I hate it that after Baba dropped me in front of TNB Bangsar, I got teary eyes while on the way to Abdullah Hukum LRT station.

I hate it that this tiredness is slowly affecting me.

I hate it that I am not getting the extra sleep, when I could have gotten it if I leave home a bit later.

I hate it that I arrived early at work to an office floor full of desks, but no people (2 doesn't count)

I hate it that I arrived at the office at 7.50 am, when I could have arrived by latest 9.30 am.

I hate it that I had to start early everyday and end my day late.

I hate it that I have to depend on someone to go back home too.

I hate it that I had to start my day with all these hates.

I hate it that I'm getting emotional with this post.

I hate it that when I read back this post, I myself would not understand the magnitude of these hatings and why all these are coming out. (and no, it's not that time of the month)



...I wish, I wish, I wish I had my own car so that I could plan my day as it suits me.

would you? would you? wouuuuld you?

Would You Ever Pet A Snake?
God No! the whole family will freak out!

Would You Stay in An Empty Room For 7 Days?
and be like the guy from Aviator? No thanks.

Would You Jump In A Swimming Pool Fully Clothed?
YES!! haven't done that though..

Would You Tell People What You Honestly Think Of Them?
I usually dilly-dally first. I'm not that direct.

Would You Swim With Sharks?
Hell yeah! hmmm..should add that to My List of Crazy Things to do in life.

Would You Wtach Movies 24 Hours A Day?
yeah, as long as i have breaks to eat and pray. 0:)

Would You Cry In Front Of Others Or On Your Own?
On my own, in the shower. But can't help it if there's a need to cry there and then in front of everyone!

Would You Watch A Scary Movie Alone In The Dark?
Please, no! Horror is not my thing.

Would You Not Bath Or Shower For A Week?
I wouldn't! I'd be a walking rubbish bin. I myself don't like being smelly.

Would You Do Anything For Your Friends?
yes, of course, especially my BFF.

Would You Tell Me If You Didn't Like Me?
no. i'd kept quiet and pretend. Hah!

Would You Bungee Jump Off A Bridge?
of course. done bungy before. wanna do it again!

Would You Ask Someone For A Hug If You Was Upset?
yeap. ;) ...note to moderator, 'you' is always followed by 'are' or 'were'...Duh..

Would You Send This Test Back To Me?
'Me'? 'Me' who?

(note to self: find better survey questions next time)

Fill out this survey yourself
Find a different survey
Brought to you by Bzoink

It's time for an adult talk

What is it with us? We can't seem to be satisfied with what we have. When things are in a tip-top condition (or less so), we seek for more. Greedy is the word. Sometimes I find myself in that position, and more often than not, I felt guilty at the end of the day. Guilt is good, in the sense that it saves us from doing unimaginable things and warns us that we need to take a moment to reflect the damage that would be/was done.

Sept 16 has arrived. New government for Malaysia? How prepared are we for that? A change is good. But the effect of change is totally unpredictable. Are we aware that this is not just something that we can try on as if you are buying clothes. This, as a matter of fact, is the future of Malaysia. We are putting Malaysia's life on the line. Remember, prying eyes are always there observing Malaysia. They are waiting for the time when we crumble. Already, issues here and there have made us vulnerable. And they have been intervening.

To some, I observe that the want to change the Malaysian Government have become a personal issue, not the 'people of Malaysia' issue. This is what I'm most worried about. Could we let these people take charge? Are they fully committed to rule the country? Or are they in the game just to win it? to prove that the present government is wrong? that they would do anything to bring the present government down?

The way I reflect is to always think of what our ancestors have gone through in the process of achieving independence. Even though I was not there to witness it all, I learnt the history. That it was not easy. That they had to suffer. That lives were lost. All these for the life I'm living now? I'm sure thankful to those who've contributed in every way they could. Whenever I see other under-privilege countries I always think to myself 'thank God that's not Malaysia.' It could have been if not for the government that we have now. It could have been if not for the people who made the Malaysia we have now possible. So please, try to do anything to make it easy. not make it hard for Malaysia. It already is hard with the present world and local issues.

I guess being overseas for quite some time made me appreciate more the land I was born in. Before, I could not feel the worry I'm feeling now. Before, I could not care less the going ons of Malaysia's political scene. I was just a bystander. Now, it matters.

This is not a post to say who's side I'm on. Because frankly, both sides are doing dirty, dirty politics. The members of my family have mixed/different reviews. Lucky, we are smart enough to not bring it to the dinner table. And even when it did slip out, there's always someone who backs off. Politics are not meant for the family's dinner table, especially when all have different says.

From here onwards, could it be any worse or any better ?? I guess I'll be finding that answer in a few years time.

Let's get things going Lina!

My my my....okay, let's not get into the subject which I've not blogged for more than a month. I have reasons okay!

One of them : I've been abducted by aliens. ~~~Tooo-do-doo-do~~~~

Hehehehe...Don't believe me? Hah! Well, I'm not asking you to. ;) Talking about abduction and aliens, that reminds me I should download X-Files The Movie this weekend. Back in the old days, I thought the drama is genius! 10 or so years up, and I'm a grown woman (I wish), now I'd like to watch what Mulder and Scully have been up to. Cue X-Files music....te-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne (hmmm, maybe I should stop trying to put sounds into words)

Now, back to business..I'll start by making a list of juicy(or non-juicy) things that happened to me in the past month...in non-chronological order. Here goes...


1. I started out Ramadhan with my family. which is what I've been waiting for, for the past 4 years! Thank you God! Sahor together, buka puasa together...aaaahh..SUPERB. plus, the food here - Bazaar Ramadhan, kuih best-best ~~salivating~~okay stop, you are fasting, for God's sake Lina!


2. I went to Medan for a weekend. Finally! Took a Friday off and jetted to my bro's pad in Medan with the whole family. we brought along Umar too. a whole story of laughter from that soon to be 2-year-old boy, just in that trip alone! Umar, Umar...Anyway, I shopped till I dropped too many thousands (cheh, like I'm rich je..it's Rupiah people) and had to change more RMs. Oh, the clothes there were just too hard to resist. Bought 2 trousers, 2 blouses, 1 work shirt, 7 DVDs(i wished I had more $$ to buy more!), and 2 kain for baju raya(hehe. thank you Mummy and Baba). Oh, I'm all crazed-out for Ayam Penyet...oh no, salivating again..sheeeshhh..


3. I drove alone to SG Besi TOC for a 12 am work. Wahey! My first mid-night work. And, I gotta say, I like driving on the wee hours of the morning. Shhh..don't tell my parents I sped (I didn't notice I was actually speeding till I looked at the meter. Ooops..heheh..) Reason being there? Had to assist security team for Vulnerability Assessment(VA) of a GPRS probe. Done on those hours that traffic is low. So that if things do happen, revenue won't be much affected. Back at 3 am. Cayalah Lina...


4. The family yearly trip is confirmed! The destination? Drum roll please...US West Coast baybeh! I'm so pumped for this! We'll be going to LA, Las Vegas, San Francisco and Grand Canyon! Those who know me should know that I'm most excited about going to the Grand Canyon. Talk about going to one of the 7 wonders of the world! Now, now, now..the hard thing is the part where I have to tell my boss I'll be taking an 8 day leave! How that's gonna end up I seriously don't wanna give a shite rite now...Oh ya, Umar will be seeing his abg idol Iki Mouse in Disneyland too! hahahaha..Quoting Mickey "hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dawg!"


5. I'm in love with the JMs. JMs as in John Mayer and James Morrison. No, not Jason Mraz though (He's good, but that I'm Yours song dh jadi mcm meluat nak dgr..sorry). Have downloaded their newest albums last year, but only now I noticed how good they are! Of course, this results in me going into that phase again..wishing for a husband like John Mayer. Aiiishhh..


6. I had a serious vomiting fair a few days ago. ergh..worst I had. It was more than 10 times for a period of 6 hours! No diarrheoa though. hhmm..weird. It sucked to the core(literally and non-literally) because I was to deliver something the next day. Luckily, my bosses and colleague were all concerned. They were like, it's ok! u just rest and don't think about work. Thank them, coz i was just too flat, from my stomach's and throat's activeness till 3.30 am the day before. I slept almost all day and had to suffer on/off fever and headache. Luckily it's that time of the month. so, i don't have to fast. The recovery process required my body to munch on food every 3 hours and drink lots of Rehydration Salt. And Oh, I'm appreciating more the existence of the small room with lock near the pantry at the office!


7. My end of month RMS report for the month of August got noticed by a few people. :) They congratulated me on the job well done, and CC the mail to Head of Department (HOD). I was like What The Fish! Malu la pulak if HOD really look at my report...as in reallly really look..scrutinize kang satu hal pulak..aiyo...still, I'm thankful and it's a boost for me to be better next time. hehehehe..I should giv myself a pat on the back. hehehe...Oh, thanks to my supervisor aka little boss who guided me to do the report. The big boss is the head of International Roaming. The HOD is for Network Engineering & Operations. haiiish..so many bosses..it's time i really name them. So, in the ascent of most power...little boss, big boss, HOD.


That's about it. Other things are good not to mention..like the time I had a minor surgery on a certain part of the body. oh, i just mentioned it. well, let's not get deeper into it. ;)

I keep telling myself that if this 'infrequent blogging' continues for a couple of months, I'm gonna kill my passion to write straight at the head, close-range. That's brutal, and I'm not gonna let that happen! Maybe it's time to sneak-in a few moments to blog at the office. Hehehe..i hope little boss who sits beside me doesn't see it. hehe. a friend said I'm committing kamikaze---willingly sitting beside little boss. I've already experienced 1 month of sitting beside big boss ohkay! I wanna comment on that, but it's best i don't..hehehe

ISD is gonna find my blog address hits 'jump' unusually. oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do...

Penat lah!

It's been a while..I know! And I feel guilty for not typing down my thoughts. I came into the working world fully prepared of its demands, but never did it cross my mind that sitting in the office makes me tired as hell! I barely can make it past 10:30 pm. but those who knew me in the uni days, might feel that Lina sleeping at 10:30 pm is nothing unusual. true, but I've been 'unusual' since I got back from Australia. sleeping at 12 is nothing! man, you'll be surprised to find me awake at 2 am or 3 am or even 4 am!(erm..let's not get to 5 am) It's either tennis, or watching online movies till the wee hours in the morning. Yes, I've been staying up late for the past what, 4 months? It was just because there's nothing else to do. sleep late, wake up late...u know the drill! Boy, am I glad I made the most of my leisure time! hehehe..now, I could only DREAM of my tennis matches and online movies. ;) Weekends on the other hand, are packed with family activities..I did mention that my nephew Umar takes up most of our attention during weekends right? haiyo..if only this period of tiredness ends soon, then I could blog more frequently.

I have been assigned to do various stuff. One of them is to read a text about International Roaming. Okay, it's not actually categorised as work. maybe it's just so that I get the whole picture of International Roaming. The view-from-the-plane kind of knowledge. Luckily, I have learnt some of the technical stuff during my degree (thank God!! and thank you Matthew Sorrell too!). So when the Maxis people talk about SCP or CAMEL or SS7 or VLR or even GGSN, I was not nodding the 'Joey way' (you know, the nod when you nod, but don't have a clue what the other person is saying? Friends lover should know the 'Joey nod'. Oh, you don't know? have you been on Earth for the past 10 years??? Kesian you...) Aaaanyway, I'm the new administrator of the Roaming Monitoring System(RMS). The name explains itself. I could trace calls if you are a Maxis customer roaming overseas. I could know who you are calling and from where you are calling from. i could know VIPs calls too..hihihi..well, the main purpose of the system is to analyse Maxis' roaming system and from then on, troubleshoot any problem that arises. and since I started during the middle of the month, I have to pull data from the system to analyse the monthly going-ons of international roamers in order to produce a monthly report. gee..do i make sense? I hope I did...oh and one more thing, as an administrator, I have to manage the database of the RMS. All in all, I like what I've been assigned to. Just one worry though, I hope I don't get tired of this monthly reports at the end of every month. For now, i still find it okay. but will i get bored of it? time will tell...

I have to say that I'm glad that I was interested by the whole telecomms technology. It IS interesting! Almost everyone on earth cannot live without a phone kan kan kan? and when you make a call, do you know what exactly happens? how the signalling is done? how a call is established? why you suddenly get cut off in the middle of a call?(besides the fact that you haven't top up your credit or haven't paid your phone bills lah!) well, all of these and a few other complicated stuff you don't wanna hear, i know! I find it exciting to be able to know what goes on with the connectivity of a phone. So, despite all, I'm happy with the industry i'm in now. I hope this happiness continues on and on..InsyaAllah..

The atmosphere at Maxis is very...how should i say it...vely the open waaan. here at Maxis Technology Centre Plaza Sentral, only 2 ppl have their own office room; the CTO and C-something-something. Every floor have open cubicles. you could see and hear what the others are doing at the other end. that's what i meant by 'open'. the people are friendly (so far lah..you never know...), especially my department RISS. my boss pun ok lah..:). My colleagues who came in the exact time as I did (there are 5 of us), are great too. I could not ask for a more better pack. we stick together. lunch together..gossip together..yes, we've gone to the gossiping part..hahaha! Although, the Matchlink topic is more of an attack!

oohh..oohh..this is the first time I blog as an Engineer :) Looks like my writing lives on...i just have to do it more often kan?

Oh yeah, Oh yeah!

This is the moment when you find me cheerfully hum Celine Dion's I'm Alive. This is the defining moment I've been waiting for, for the past few months. This is one of those moments I will remember the rest of my life. And more importantly, this is the moment when I close my eyes, and thank Allah once again for His blessings..His never-ending blessings. The moment I'm talking about is when I got a call from a certain Mr Lee saying "Maxis wants to hire you."


I wouldn't say that the road to my first job was all along bumpy. I wouldn't say that I complained all the time about not getting anything much earlier. It's simply what I chose to do. I chose to take time off from any commitments. I needed the brake. I've never stopped since God knows when, not since SPM and not since I've been accepted to MRSM Jasin. 3 months off in Australia, and 2 months off in Malaysia. The other 3 months at Select Consulting was still a leisure because it was part-time. I only started job hunting seriously in April 2008. I have never regretted taking my own sweet time in getting my first job. If others straight away jumped into the working world after uni, I didn't. Time after time I've been 'warned' of the working world and how once started, you will be trapped in it for the rest of your life. Despite the warnings, I know I still want to get involve in it. To have a taste of it. And despite all, I don't want to waste this engineering degree, for sure! It's just that I want to be 100% ready. And no, I haven't forgotten about my 'other' dream...;)...There are still other means of achieving my other dream of being a great writer. One thing at a time...one thing at a time...

It's a great feeling to have made it on my own. Sometimes people ask me why I wasn't using Baba's channels. And I gave them the same answer...I want to try on my own! I really respect Baba and his achievements, but that doesn't mean I can 'use' him to get jobs. He does have contacts. That's the irony of things in life...I could go the easy way, but it's not always the proper way. At the end of the day, it's the decision that reflects your level of dignity.

So here I am..as ready as ever! The long holidays prepared me for this...to be ready and determined. That's the beauty of taking my time...my own sweet time...

On Missy Higgins

I am a huge fan of Missy Higgins. I have listened to her a kazillion times, and she never fail to bore me. Warm Whispers is blaring on my laptop speaker, so to speak. My taste of music goes 360 degrees, but the likes of Sarah McLachlan, Missy Higgins and Norah Jones gets the most play in my Windows Media Player.

I had the chance to go to Missy's concert in Nov 2007. Her 'One Night Only ' tour. Sitting 5 rows away from the stage, it was one of the best seats of the string of concerts I've been to in Adelaide. Avril Lavigne's concert was the other concert that I had the chance to be close to the stage. But Avril's concert was free standing, and because of that, I was pushed and being forced to stand beside a sweaty, tall, stuck-up guy. Luckily, we were a few feet away from the stage, which made it all-worthy as Avril made me forget that guy beside me. Otherwise, the scene of a short me beside a tall and sweaty-armpitt-person would be much worse than you can imagine! Seriously!

So Missy Higgins was belting out her true-to-the-core songs and I could not help but admire her live performance. It's true that her voice could not be compared to Celine Dion's or anyone else who has that range of high vocals. However, Missy's voice is rich and pure and soothing and goes well with the kind of song she sings. I used to have this perception that Missy's live performance would not be as good as the CD version. Daymn I was wrong. She hopped from the Piano to the Guitar to the Keyboards and sang away her trademark vocals without jitters. Once in a while, she would reveal the history behind the song she was going to sing. And this could go on for 5-10 minutes with her joking around and making the audience laugh. The 'Sound of White' relates to the death of her cousin. 'Angela' is about Scarlett O'Harra from Gone With The Wind. 'Peachy' is her way of ranting..musically. A few songs are about her relationships, be it good or bad. Many records were made while she was traveling around. With Missy, inspirations come easily. She could be sitting on the sands with the sound of waves at the background, and katink! she decided to write a song there and then. And Missy tells her story whole-heartedly. It just shows what a genuine musician she really is. It was just a beautiful concert.

I even influenced my family to like Missy Higgins...

It has always been me who prepared CDs for our family roadtrips. The DJ of the family...ME! Of course, it's not all about me and my selections. My rule of DJ-ing...Always consider what the others like too! So in one CD, I managed to squeeze in The Scorpions, Jamiroquai, The Beatles, Michael Buble, Radiohead, Sarah McLachlan, Missy Higgins, and Hannah Montana. For the last road trip at Great Ocean Road, Australia, I even tried to download Nursery Rhymes, but failed to do so. It's hard to get Nursery Rhymes, okay! Kesian Umar....hahhaaha..but don't worry, Umar loves Radiohead's Let Down. That nephew of mine!

So back to the point where I got my family to love Missy Higgins during that Great Ocean Road trip (excluding Hafeez and Kak Niza, since they left early) . I made this CD entitled All Things Missy. It was an Australian road trip. So I thought, why not put an Aussie flavour, right? So I put on the CD with songs from Missy's 1st few albums.

1st round of play: everyone kept quiet
2nd round of play: hmmm...still no signs, but they didn't seem to reject the CD straight away
3rd round of play: I could here tappings to the beat once in a while
4th, 5th, 6th round of play: Ira and kakak starts singing the lyrics
Umpteenth round of play: Quoting Baba, "Lina, can you make a copy of this CD for me?"

Strike!!! wahahaha..Of course, it was hours and hours of drive, which made it possible for the replays.

Now, Kakak (who also holds the copy of 'All Things Missy' in her car), said that when she puts on Missy Higgins in the CD player, it brings her back to the memories of our road trip in Australia, in late 2007. That's another thing Missy does, bringing out the Australian-ness in her songs. And that, to me, is why I'll never be bored listening to her. It just reminds me of my 4 years there, and how that 4 years stamped a huge footprint in my life. Enough said...