Warning: Bad, bad words inside

What is a four letter word that comes to my mind right now? Fuck. Shit. Damn. Crap. No, not Fuck as in sex. Fuck as in you are boiled-over-with-rage-fuck. Fuck as in your day just keeps dissapointing you. Of all these, I find Fuck is the most that does the job right, except I've never been able to blurt it out...not even unexpectedly. Frankly, saying Oh, Fuck! is much more appealing than Oh, Shit! or Oh,Damn!. Of course there is Celaka too. But Celaka is like too bad for me. I don't know why... There's Bollocks too, but when I heard it came out of Hugh Grant's mouth, I think Bollocks is not so brutal at all. To some, these words have become the essence of their every sentence. But to most well-mannered/civilized people, these are the words uttered when in shitty or raging situations....or even feeling shitty.

Now, that's a clue as to why you are finding me writing this, right this moment.

Don't mind my choice of words. Indeed, this blog is titled "Things I'll Never Say...only write". With that, I meant that I've never say out loud the 'F 'word, not once that I can remember, in my life(trying out saying that word out is a different story...). I only managed 'Eff', or 'Fish'(which is invented by my cousin, if I'm not mistaken). Shit is normal to me though. And crap too. Damn also. That's because they sound much more 'courteous' of all the bad words, and less severe too.

I myself wonder why we are so keen to speak sourly. It's appealing because you look cool saying it. Well, maybe you think you look cool. The fact is you don't. I don't. We don't.

Fuck it. That's the last corrupted 'F' word you'll get from me...I promise.

One for the many days

Hear, hear...I'm still here. Still alive and kicking (kicking the nyamuks on my foot right now. masa bile lah nyamuk masuk in my room nih!).

Oh crap, I've been inconsistent. No posts for over a month. Anis, my best gf, gave me the wake-up call.

"Eh Lina! dah lama tak update blog!"

...errkkksss.. right. dead right. it's been long!

BTW, Anis just celebrated her 24th Birthday (the day ended 1 minute ago). Instead of me giving her a birthday surprise, it was she who gave me a surprising news! :) Only hoping the best for u Anis. I told u this Anis lady is hot, didn't I? hehehehe..

So much has been going on. For sure, I have my views on those animals who killed innocent lives in Gaza. Yup, if u r involved in mass murder of innocents and support mass killings of innocent people, consider yourself as an uncivilised person..worse than animals, to be much precise. God made you a human. Why do you have to behave inhumanely? If I, who have much respect for the Western world, I who have not experience myself the sufferings of war, I who have not lost any of my family members in war, could feel such hatred and anger to the Israelis and its allies, think of those Palestinians who are there, fighting for a right to live on their own land but only ended up being labeled as terrorists. Think of those who were being suppressed of freedom on their own land. Think of the parents who have lost their sons and daughters. Think of the kids who watched their parents die in front of their eyes. Those children will hold grudge to the Israelis for the rest of their lives. Loathe and hatred. That's what the Israelis brought into this world. I will remember this for the rest of my life. And the phosphorous bombs? That is so not cool...I will tell my children and my grandchildren of the stories of the Israelis. Of how this is worse than the holocaust. It's as simple as the saying goes...Do good, you will get goodness in reply. Do bad, then only expect the worst.

I hope for peace. I pray for peace. I hope that we, all religions can live peacefully. Give and take----That's the 1st rule of living with another person.

Now, on a much lighter note...Australian Open tennis championship took place a few weeks ago. I was there to witness the heat of Melbourne last year. Enjoyed every second of tennis last year (No doubt, coming from me). This year, I only watched it on Astro Supersport and from live radio-cast on the web. that Verdasco male is hot! I remember I watched him play last year in one of the ATP tour. 1st impression - OK, he's hot. 2nd impression - OK, he's definitely hot and definitely playing some good tennis. Then, I found out he was dating Ana Ivanovic (hmmm, interesting). Of course this even hightened my interest in him to a new level! So, I was eyeing him when Aussie Open 2009 started. Boy, my instinct was right! I mean, that Nadal-Verdasco semi-final?? Yours truly screamed all the way through the match. Best defence-offense tennis i've ever seen in my life! hands down to Verdasco and Nadal for producing those nail-biting, finger-tapping, mouth-screaming tennis. I like!

Oh ya, on a much much lighter/revealing note, someone's making my heart go all whooosshy these past few weeks.. Who? Adalah.. :) Jeng jeng jeng...

long post? maybe next time lah.

Just when things were spiraling down for me, they came spiraling back up? Life...i am beginning to understand you (yet again).


Praise to Allah. Hush hush for now. Hoping for the best, and hoping it will indeed come true.

Time for a new Frontier

I am starting to think that this is not worth it. That I was denying the fact that I'm actually at the loser's part of the bargain. The experience is good, the name is good, the boss I'm reporting to is good, but behind the curtain, there are more deception than I could ever imagine.

One of us has 'succumbed' to a greener patch (but the green doesn't contain much of the darker shade). They say it takes time to get there. But that is only to get to a pale patch? How long to get to the darker shade of green? Am I willing to wait?

I am even thinking...is this legit? Is third party a way to cut cost? How could they use us?

Maybe it's time for a new frontier. Baba warned me how bad this is. But I was hard-headed and was determined to jump to my first job. He's right. After all, he is the Veep of HR of an honourable company. I still remember how unhappy (and did I see a flash of anger?? no, not to me lah. to whoever is responsible) when I laid out the contract and benefits. I guess he knows best.

Sarah's new Single

It's another piece of what makes Sarah, Sarah McLachlan. Haunting yet soothing voice, good music, and real lyrics can never go wrong. I just found that she has separated from her husband Ash. and this song is about that separation.

I'm just ecstatic that she hasn't put a stop to her gift of making good music. Yes! A new album! Even if it's a greatest hits album, there are new songs which I'm sure won't let me down. I'll definitely get one soon. Check out this new single, 'U Want Me 2'. Listen closely to the lyrics...

U Want Me 2 - Sarah McLachlan

you walk on by
clueless and so high
following your aimless path
away from us

your so far away
and what can i say
cause i cant be the one
you wanted me to be

[Chorus]
so tell me how do you feel
its so confusing
if you let it all go it will fall apart
do you want me to stay and say
"i still want you"
you want me too dont you?

so what are we saying
our edens a failure
a made up story to fit the
picture perfect world

the one with "i do"
and "I love you"
and "we are made for each other"
is forever over now

[chorus]

I hope there's forgiveness
in the distance between us
can we make the lives ahead of us
a better place to be

[chorus]

Check out the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NE7tuJTXfO8

Of course, Sarah's live performance is even better than the original song, as always...







And 'Angel' was there too...check this out, a beautiful performance...



And if you are still in the mood of Sarah Mclachlan, I suggest you play 'Building a Mystery'...

I've still got sands in my shoes

I'm back. And jetlag too. My sleep clock has been in a state of confusion this past week. Poor my body and mind. I guess a massage will soothe all confusion. Anyone?

(I'm suppose to sleep now. Am working tomorrow for crying out loud! Can't afford to lose more Annual Leave or Unpaid Leave. arrgh...)

It was an AWEsome trip to the land of of the super-power and Hollywood-ville (or so they call). I'll share with you some of the highlights. Can't spill all now..sorry. Maybe I'll do it bit-by-bit. But here's some facade(mostly good, of course) of what you can expect.

- The most turbulence-filled flight I've ever experience. The bumpiness made me thought we were going to crash. now, that's scary. Alhamdulillah, we are all safe and back home now.

- Disneyland was terrific. Universal Studios was a different kind of terrific-ness. Enough said.

- Roller-coasters. Drops. Sharp turns. Splashes. The Simpsons ride. Special effects. My kind of adrenaline-rush rides. I like...No, I love...

- KA Cirque Du Soleil in Las Vegas.....awesome-ness to the core! It made me want to join acrobatics classes....ha ha.

- Saying hi to Grand Canyon at last. BUT, only for 40 minutes????? WTF. na-uh, not happy with that.

- Practising my shopaholic trait in US Factory Outlet could be one dangerous activity. It didn't get any better when we visited the outlets 3 times. Crazy low prices for premium brands. seriously. For Coach lovers, buy in US factory outlets. coz you'll be paying 3 times less the price in Malaysia.

- Too much Chinese Food. Kow chow aaa..

- Chicken/beef deficient is a definite no-no to me. I'll only last a week. Too much seafood also tak best lahhh!

- I was a victim of a snatch thief in San Francisco. He pulled, I pulled back. I fell down, he pulled my bag still. Baba came to the rescue. Baba pulled me and my bag back. The jerk said sorry??? Alhamdulillah I'm safe, Baba's safe, my bag is safe. Traumatised when i think of what could be worse.

- Waking up early and arriving late to superb hotels. I wish we had taken the free and easy trip, where we can leisurely take our time to explore here and there. Nope, it's a tour package. Luckily with a great tour group. And Jerry, our tour guide (actually Geri) to lead us. She said Tom was at home.

The problem with good things is they always come to an end. Traveling is a good thing to me. I hate it when it ends. haiiiiihhhh...

And oh, I've already asked Baba when and where our next trip would be.... ;)

The Tale of Miss Potter..a rather short one, that is.

'There's something delicious about writing those first few words of a story. You can never quite tell where they will take you. Mine took me here, where I belong.'

- Beatrix Potter -

A beautiful quote by a beautiful writer/illustrator. Watching 'Miss Potter' takes me back to the days of living in the UK. Being 12, I was able to appreciate the surroundings and to stamp in my mind how lucky I was to be able to experience living there. At times, my thought will be zoomed to that 1 year of living in the land of the English. Oh, how wonderful it was...truly.

Beatrix Potter is (or should I say 'was'?) from the Hills and Valleys of the Lake District. We actually went to parts of the Lake District. It was a road-trip; Coventry-Scotland-Coventry. A few stops we had were Shakespeare-upon-Avon, (now, why does that sound wrong. let me try again. Stratford-upon-Avon...aah-huh, i think i got it right. It's the hometown of Shakespeare. Hence the mix-up!), the Lochness (where Nessie the lake monster resides), Lake District (of course), and some other places I cannot remember. Only 4 of us -- 12-year-old-me, Baba, Mummy, and Ira, who was around 5 months old at that time. I remember going to the visitor house of Beatrix Potter. The house was set in a hilly area. If I recall, many came and there was not enough space to park. Hence, we had to squeeze into the small spots that the hilly place offered. And if I'm not mistaken, we reached there when dusk was on its way. So, the visitor shop/house was nearly closing. We didn't have much time to explore. It was more or less a brief stop. But I remember the atmosphere...windy, chilly, and a breath of fresh air from the countryside. Sublime...just sublime.

If I had my way, I would settle on the countryside, where trees drape the hills and valleys, and streams line up the rocky edges. And maybe, just maybe...a rabbit in blue brass-buttoned jacket running around the bushes? Ah, lovely scene! Just lovely! :)