New year and what nots

I'm in denial.

I can't really be a consistent blogger. The urge is there now and then. But for it to materialise, well just see the frequency of my posts!

It's the eve of new year! a decade has gone in this millenium. wasn't it yesterday we celebrated the Millenium?? cepatnya dah 10 tahun!

Blogging from work. last day of the year. takde sapa kat office. work pun takde lagi.. did i mention to you that I've changed my job? :)

Work-life balance is in store in my current company. I'm loving it! tapi so far part work tu tak banyak lagi.. hahahha.. haih Lina... banyak keje complain, takde keje pun complain.

ok chow! 5:15 PM !

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

P/S: Wishing I could go out celebrate this new year, but i don't think there's any plans for that, as far as my family is concerned. So balik rumah je kot...and main Wii !!

My Dear..

I wish I could have done more.
I wish I had given you more support as a friend.
I wish I could be there to comfort you.
I wish I can call you to hear your voice and know that you're ok.
I wish I could see you to know that you are doing fine.

But who am I to you?
Who am I to call you everyday?
Who am I to constantly be there for you?

SMS, I can. But how many SMS should I send?
I'm afraid that I'm stepping over the line..which might push you away..
For I know, that space is what you need right now.

And that is why I pray...
I pray that you'll be ok.
I pray that you and your family will cruise through this tough time.
I pray that arwah will rest in peace.

This is your time of suffering.
Sometimes I wonder when my time will be.
How I will carry through Allah SWT's test.
But I dare not delve into this matter now.
What I learn from all this is that I should cherish my parents.
To be thankful for still being able to see my parents everyday.
It's a wake up call. A call that I, we as humans, need to be reminded of once in a while.
For life is short, and we never know who will go next..

Until we meet again. My dear, I hope that you take good care of yourself.


**A close friend's dad left this world earlier this week. Al-fatihah to his dad. May he rest in peace and tergolong dlm org2 yg beriman....Ameen. **

*** I doubt this friend is reading this. But if he does, Alhamdulillah. Pls do take care of yourself ok!***

Is this what I've become? Pls no..

Things I rarely do nowadays:
1. Read the Holy Al-Quran at least once a day.
2. Read novels or chic-lits .
3. Keep in-touch with close(and best) friends.
4. Listen to music while in the train.
5. Blog
6. Go to cinemas

Things I find myself doing nowadays:
1. Think of work everyday (that includes weekends).
2. Cringe when some people's number from work appears on my mobile phone.
3. Drive by myself at night to sites.
4. Sleep while in the train on my way to work (if i manage to get a seat).

Things I should be doing:
1. More ibadah.
2. Exercise!
3. Find priorities in my life - carrier is not all there is.
4. Eat healthy.
5. Drink vege juice.

How to do what I should be doing?
1. Start simple, and build up.
2. Change my job. (eh?)

One

When one is fond of someone, what does one do? Quite a number of times, one thought of expressing one's feelings to that someone. BUT, one cannot say it out to that someone because one is too afraid of the outcome. Well, one does not want to be embarrassed and humiliated if that someone rejects one. What one is trying to avoid in the first place is that 'broken-hearted' outcome. Ok, maybe not thaaat severe..try disappointment..try dejected..try lost of a good friend..

One thinks that it would be better in April. Month to date, nothing has been brighter. One already invited that someone for an outdoor activity. Errkss, that someone seems not to be interested pulak. What else could one do? One is already feeling that one is clapping with one hand. Another thing that one feels uncomfortable with is the girl gets guy issue. Nevertheless, one's wise relative advised one that in this age, one should not feel uncomfortable to chase after guys(err, that definitely sounds weird. To heck with it..). The truth is, that special someone's type.. who is kind, fairly jaga agama, and good-looking(bolehlaa) do not pass by easy these days. So, one should go for it! One thinks so too. But one is still shy and doesn't have the guts to be super-outfront like that Gigi girl in "He's Just Not That Into You". By the way, one watched that movie last weekend, and one loves it!

To make matters worse, one is already thinking that that someone already found a special someone. Of course, one hasn't asked casually to that someone if that someone already has a special someone. One just couldn't get to that point...even casually!

One is willing to give up this silent fight(whatever that means). But that someone keeps coming back to one's head. One is also tired of playing the are-you-really-interested-in-me? game. One figures one should give up soon.

One thing one heard is that one should set love(or in this case, fondness) free and wait for it to come back by itself. Well, it's either that or ...

.....He's Just Not THAAAT Into Me....

ohhhhhh... crap...


P/S: Apparently I watched Bicentennial Man a kazillion times.

Warning: Bad, bad words inside

What is a four letter word that comes to my mind right now? Fuck. Shit. Damn. Crap. No, not Fuck as in sex. Fuck as in you are boiled-over-with-rage-fuck. Fuck as in your day just keeps dissapointing you. Of all these, I find Fuck is the most that does the job right, except I've never been able to blurt it out...not even unexpectedly. Frankly, saying Oh, Fuck! is much more appealing than Oh, Shit! or Oh,Damn!. Of course there is Celaka too. But Celaka is like too bad for me. I don't know why... There's Bollocks too, but when I heard it came out of Hugh Grant's mouth, I think Bollocks is not so brutal at all. To some, these words have become the essence of their every sentence. But to most well-mannered/civilized people, these are the words uttered when in shitty or raging situations....or even feeling shitty.

Now, that's a clue as to why you are finding me writing this, right this moment.

Don't mind my choice of words. Indeed, this blog is titled "Things I'll Never Say...only write". With that, I meant that I've never say out loud the 'F 'word, not once that I can remember, in my life(trying out saying that word out is a different story...). I only managed 'Eff', or 'Fish'(which is invented by my cousin, if I'm not mistaken). Shit is normal to me though. And crap too. Damn also. That's because they sound much more 'courteous' of all the bad words, and less severe too.

I myself wonder why we are so keen to speak sourly. It's appealing because you look cool saying it. Well, maybe you think you look cool. The fact is you don't. I don't. We don't.

Fuck it. That's the last corrupted 'F' word you'll get from me...I promise.

One for the many days

Hear, hear...I'm still here. Still alive and kicking (kicking the nyamuks on my foot right now. masa bile lah nyamuk masuk in my room nih!).

Oh crap, I've been inconsistent. No posts for over a month. Anis, my best gf, gave me the wake-up call.

"Eh Lina! dah lama tak update blog!"

...errkkksss.. right. dead right. it's been long!

BTW, Anis just celebrated her 24th Birthday (the day ended 1 minute ago). Instead of me giving her a birthday surprise, it was she who gave me a surprising news! :) Only hoping the best for u Anis. I told u this Anis lady is hot, didn't I? hehehehe..

So much has been going on. For sure, I have my views on those animals who killed innocent lives in Gaza. Yup, if u r involved in mass murder of innocents and support mass killings of innocent people, consider yourself as an uncivilised person..worse than animals, to be much precise. God made you a human. Why do you have to behave inhumanely? If I, who have much respect for the Western world, I who have not experience myself the sufferings of war, I who have not lost any of my family members in war, could feel such hatred and anger to the Israelis and its allies, think of those Palestinians who are there, fighting for a right to live on their own land but only ended up being labeled as terrorists. Think of those who were being suppressed of freedom on their own land. Think of the parents who have lost their sons and daughters. Think of the kids who watched their parents die in front of their eyes. Those children will hold grudge to the Israelis for the rest of their lives. Loathe and hatred. That's what the Israelis brought into this world. I will remember this for the rest of my life. And the phosphorous bombs? That is so not cool...I will tell my children and my grandchildren of the stories of the Israelis. Of how this is worse than the holocaust. It's as simple as the saying goes...Do good, you will get goodness in reply. Do bad, then only expect the worst.

I hope for peace. I pray for peace. I hope that we, all religions can live peacefully. Give and take----That's the 1st rule of living with another person.

Now, on a much lighter note...Australian Open tennis championship took place a few weeks ago. I was there to witness the heat of Melbourne last year. Enjoyed every second of tennis last year (No doubt, coming from me). This year, I only watched it on Astro Supersport and from live radio-cast on the web. that Verdasco male is hot! I remember I watched him play last year in one of the ATP tour. 1st impression - OK, he's hot. 2nd impression - OK, he's definitely hot and definitely playing some good tennis. Then, I found out he was dating Ana Ivanovic (hmmm, interesting). Of course this even hightened my interest in him to a new level! So, I was eyeing him when Aussie Open 2009 started. Boy, my instinct was right! I mean, that Nadal-Verdasco semi-final?? Yours truly screamed all the way through the match. Best defence-offense tennis i've ever seen in my life! hands down to Verdasco and Nadal for producing those nail-biting, finger-tapping, mouth-screaming tennis. I like!

Oh ya, on a much much lighter/revealing note, someone's making my heart go all whooosshy these past few weeks.. Who? Adalah.. :) Jeng jeng jeng...