Finding that 'something' while traveling

I remember my first traveling experience when I was 5 years old. Fortunate enough to be at one of a wildlife park in Sydney, I was offered a chance to hold a Koala bear for a pose for the camera. I was scared at the thought of something alive (and nearly half my size) clinging on to me. Trying to be brave, I put one palm on the Koala bear, and smiled at the camera.

Now and then, that simple memory always comes back to me. Never at that point, did I think that I could have a thirst to travel around the world; A yearning to meet new people, experience different surroundings and way of life others; A desire to visit other countries, and just be grateful that back in Malaysia I am blessed with so many things; A need to remind me to always be humble and be awed at the beauty of God's nature; And of course, from that Koala flashback; the courage to be brave and try new things.

In all honesty, I did not realize the meaning of traveling since day one. Nor did I embrace all of the above immediately. All I knew was that I love to travel and visit places away from home. But you see, age makes you wiser. One day, it hit me and I questioned myself "Why do I travel? What good do I get from spending money at some country to be out all day and be tired at the end of the day? How could I make traveling a way to improve myself and be closer to Allah SWT?" The last question hit me so hard. Because in Islam, everything you do is supposed to be for the good and you do it because of Allah SWT. I admit that I am not a perfect Muslim. But deep inside, there is this obligation to always try to improve myself.

This epiphany lead me to a new meaning of traveling. From that day onwards, I promised myself that this passion of traveling should lead to a good outcome. God made the people in every part of the world different for a reason. We should learn from each other; soak in all the good things from other countries or communities. What's bad could be a reminder to us and an awakening to be grateful for what we have back at home. Most importantly, it should be for the improvement of oneself.

Of course, technology made it possible for me to see and watch all of this from my own idiot box, computer or smartphone. But seeing/watching is different from being there and experiencing it yourself. Getting out of the box gives everything a whole new meaning. Trust me.

From one traveler to the next, here's a reminder: 
Travel not just because you can, but also because you want to improve yourself. And while you are at it, explore new things, take chances. Life is too short to say "I'll do it next time!"

Gravity

Music has, and always will relate to my life. Happy or sad. I could always count on music to celebrate me, or heal me for that matter. But there's also that possibility of feeling melancholy when I hear certain songs. Especially break-up songs or songs that remind me of someone special who has been in and out of my life.

There are times, a certain song and lyrics can hit a bulls-eye; relating to exact moments or someone in my life.

Today, that song is Sarah Bareilles' Gravity. http://youtu.be/rEXhAMtbaec

Sara Bareilles - Gravity
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.
[CHORUS:]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
[CHORUS]
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.
You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.


I've always thought that her piano work in that song is superb. The piano work could really hit you to the core. Never got deep into the lyrics though...until today. It brought tears to my eyes because the words describe what I went through (truthfully, I'm still dealing with it) with a special person in my life.

They say that time heals all wounds. Believe me, it's crap. If it's true, why oh why after 5 years, there are times I find myself thinking of him and crying as a result. This is one of the things that puzzled me. I thought I had let it go. But it seems like the wound is still very much fresh. Would it ever heal? Would I be able to love this much? I guess I still need to depend on time, even if it has failed me, over and over again.